Freediving No. 8 - Acrylic on canvas

I was out of white oil color and went yesterday to my local art supply shop to buy it but they didn't have any in the stock. So I decided to get acrylics instead. I painted this canvas using painting knives.


I don't feel very creative lately. I got a very bad flue and feel very week at the moment. Any way I think I did a decent job with this painting.

I still paint on the balcony but soon will have to go inside. The winter is closing in and the balcony is becoming very cold.

The Goddess

I started this painting back in 05/06 and have never finished it. I have put this painting back on the easel last week and this is the final work. I kind of like it.

Freediving No.7 - Oil on canvas

After I finished the painting "Freediving No.6" I got sidetracked again. I started being afraid of creating muddy colors with such pallet knife painting method. This negativity took over me for a while. I also started doubting my self. Am I a good painter and such ridiculous thoughts took over me.
At one point I realised that the only way to free myself from such thought is to intentionally paint muddy colors. As stated before... JUST LET GO AND PAINT ! And paint I did :-)

Interesting detail;

Freediving No.6 - Oil on canvas

My painting knife is flying along. I enjoyed creating this painting a lot. I didn't struggle with it not even for a second and that feeling is priceless :-)

Interesting detail;

Freediving No.5 - Oil on canvas

I felt that brush isn't really my thing and for that reason I painted this canvas with a pallet knife. For some reason it just felt right and this way of applying colors gave me that "in momentum" feeling. I painted without any plans, thoughts, fears or expectations... From now on I will use the painting knife. It suits me perfectly.

I like this detail a lot;

Freediving No.4 - Oil and sand on canvas

In this painting I tried to let go and "run" into it with energy without any plans or fears felt almost like a fight. The painting itself doesn't look much but the energy I felt while painting was something really moving.

I noticed two very nice details in this painting;

Freediving No. 3 - oil and sand on canvas

This painting I tried to plan and for that reason it just didn't work well for me. I couldn't let go and thoughts took over my painting. I know that this is a difficult process and it will take time to get my self into the desired state of mind... letting go... It will come to me. Never get discouraged and keep on going!

Freediving No. 2 - Oil and sand on canvas

I listened to classical guitars when painting this canvas. I didn't plan what colors I will use... nothing. I simply made my self empty giving space to the music to give me directions. I started painting from the top. When I reached the lower part of this painting I felt the creative energy leaving me. I started to struggle with the paints and strokes, started to think how to realise this painting which isn't the best way when painting abstract art.
But this is just the beginning and I will need to continue painting constantly to open my self to the energy, to let go and get out of my safe zones. I want to freedive into the creative energy without any thoughts. I know it will come to me.

Next photo shows a detail from "Freediving No.2". This is how this painting should have been at the end.

Freediving No. 1 - Oil and sand on canvas

I started painting again after almost two and a half years of not even thinking about art. As a matter of fact I actually decided not ever to go back to painting. And for all this time I wasn't aware of why I made such a decision. And now after all this time I have figured out WHY!
My dear cousin and friend Denis Gavric died approximately 3 years ago. He was the person which opened that creative door for me back in the year 1998. He was a professional piano player and composer. He was also teaching piano full time in two music academies. A very talented musician. After he died painting became something very bitter in my life... also I stopped listening to classical music all together and transformed form a very sensitive and emotional person to a very stiff and aggressive person.
After seeing my psychologist for a few sessions things started being clearer and my "emotional me" came out once again!
In October 2008 I started painting again. This is my first painting this after being reborn.

I am trying to paint without any plans or expectations (which isn't that easy honestly). To be able to paint without "thought" I rather listen to music which brings me into a transcendental mode opening the gate between my energy and the canvas.
At first I was afraid of painting again and the whiteness of the canvas did scare me. For that reason I decided to break that "whiteness" with fine sand mixed in black Gesso. I used brushes to apply paint.
I called this painting "Freediving No.1"

The next photo shows a detail of this painting. This detail is actually the best part of this painting and should be a painting for itself.

My new working table :-) feels good !!